Wednesday, January 31, 2018


Even if I leave the office on time or early, I'm going to try not to go home, because all I do is go to sleep. After going to sleep at 2 p.m. yesterday and not waking until 6 a.m., I just realizing I'm losing a lot of hours where I could be doing things. I should, of course, be working on my book. But if I don't do that, I could certainly read, or go to the gym or bootcamp. My eyes hurt from staring at spreadsheets. I made good progress today, but I'm hardly done with these projections.

Tuesday, January 30, 2018


I’ve been oversleeping again. I’ve been falling asleep when I get home from work and waking up late the next morning. This morning I didn’t wake until 6 a.m. This afternoon I fell asleep at 2 p.m. Am I depressed? I’m not sure if I am any more depressed than my normal condition. I looked at photos on Hanh’s Facebook and my heart hurt. I see in her face what a sweet girl she is. That fucking K1 visa is just too stupid and antiquated and I don’t see it being improved. I’m not sure I will travel this year.

Monday, January 29, 2018


Today hasn’t been an easy day. I broke things off with Hanh and I know it hurt her and I feel awful for it. I just can’t see myself marrying under the requirements of a K1 Fiance Visa. You’re marrying someone you barely know. Most of your time together has not been in person, it’s online. I feel like such a bag of shit for breaking her heart because I do care about her. I’ll stop planning to travel to Vietnam this year. I don’t know if I’ll go somewhere else. Right now, I just don’t want to do anything.

Sunday, January 28, 2018


This morning I read Torrents of Spring by Ernest Hemingway. Part of included a character who stopped believing he could feel love, but then found it at the end. Similar to what me and my psychologist were discussing. I went with Jay to a production of Dear Brutus, which Paul was staring in. It made me think a lot about regrets I have in my own life. I know many people say they have no regrets, but I think those people are dishonest with themselves or don’t look at their lives closely enough. My life is full of many regrets.

Saturday, January 27, 2018


I woke up at 5:30 this morning and did laundry. I intended to go to the gym afterward, but I ended up sleeping until noon. I went to Starbucks and finished reading a book that I didn’t enjoy very much. I don’t normally read mystery novels and don’t think it is fair when an author gives the ultimate culprit nonsensical motives. I went to Todd’s house after that where Jehann and Amie were there with Natalie. They were wedding planning. My white gel pens finally arrived today, so I’ve been writing on black post-it notes for my vampireauthor Instagram account.