Saturday, September 30, 2017

Desserts


I went to Starbucks early in the morning. I wrote for hours but only netted 96 words because I was rewriting so much. But I don’t care about the low word count. The book is becoming a good book and that’s what matters most. I took a three-hour nap before picking up Cynthia. We went to a tapas restaurant and the food was delicious. She got two desserts. After that we went to a play I was excited to see, but was very disappointed with. If I were to write a review on it I would title it “Shit Show.”

Friday, September 29, 2017

Wandering


I went to the office. I was feeling better. In the afternoon, my boss asked me to her office to talk about some budgetary developments. The conversation lasted only a few minutes before she strangely said she couldn’t talk about it anymore. She had something else on her mind. I thought maybe I had bad breath. A friend expressed concern over me hurting Hanh because of the way I crush so often. I told Hanh in the very beginning that I have a wandering eye. I always have. I only fantasize though. Does that make me a bad boyfriend anyway?

Thursday, September 28, 2017

Boring


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I asked my ex Danielle about Hanh saying she thinks she’s boring because I’ve had two other girlfriends tell me the same thing. Danielle had some choice words: “Is that code for them feeling not smart enough? Because you’re not all that exciting. You’re not boring. You look like you’d be exciting.” I hope Hanh doesn’t feel not smart enough. It’s true that I’m not exciting. I go to Starbucks alone to write and read. I go out to eat with friends, sometimes alone. And my days of going to goth clubs are numbered. I’m a bore, Hanh. Don’t worry.

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Bored


I spent the day in bed. This illness is making me so tired. I sleep on and off throughout the day. In my waking moments, I answered some emails. I don’t think I’ll go to work tomorrow either. I can just tell I won’t be recovered. I even canceled with my psychologist until next month. Hanh sent me some messages that confused and surprised me. I believe she thinks I’m bored of our relationship. Long distance is just difficult for me. I don’t know if she wants out or just thinks I do. The language barrier makes it more difficult.

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Crave


I left the office before 11 a.m. because I still feel like I have this flu thing. I took a nap until about 3:30 p.m. When I woke up I had text messages from someone I wasn’t expecting to hear from. I was a little confused, but after a couple of exchanges I realized I was being told that they would like to hang out, but that I was now in the friend zone. I still have feelings for this person. I still crave her. I love the feel of her skin. But I’m in a long distance relationship, right?