Friday, March 31, 2017


I think at one point today I wrote about 1,700 words. But then I scrapped a bunch of it and wrote more but only netted about 400 new words. Many readers are telling me they like Berthold. I need to figure out how to include him more than I originally intended in Scribbling in Sunlight. I had a really good session with my sex therapist. He’s going on vacation, so as is customary, he gave me a number to call in case of emergency. I told him, “I don’t think I’ll have a masturbation emergency.” I’m watching Jersey Shore tonight.

Thursday, March 30, 2017


My love for my boss is struggling. Things have changed slowly, over time, and now I feel like I’m someplace other than where I had been. I do love someone. Like love love, as silly as that sounds. It’s unrequited, of course. Perhaps that’s why it’s so steadfast. And I love Sarah. I love Sarah with or without my life. I love her beyond my life when nothing material of me is left. I don’t know if I love my book anymore despite the love for it I’ve discovered in its readers. I feel like I could have done better.  

Wednesday, March 29, 2017


I’ve been listening to that Beck song, Lost Cause a lot. It makes me feel the loss of Sarah profoundly. I sought the advice of a friend as to what to do with having her as a beneficiary on some of my retirement and life insurance accounts. I love her so much, but she is gone from my life, and I fear she will be gone forever. My friend advised that I remove her. I have two theories of why I lost her. But as complex as she is, I wouldn’t be surprised if neither are correct. My last thoughts?

Tuesday, March 28, 2017


I took a two-hour lunch today at work so I could eat vegan grilled cheese sandwiches from a food truck. I spent $22 on two sandwiches and two waters. I’ve been talking to Hylia Suicide. She’s going to help me promote my next giveaway of The Scribbled Victims. Last Sunday I had 193 free downloads. I’m hoping with Hylia’s help I can get 1,500 free downloads. Sure, I don’t make any money this way, but I’m trying to expand my audience quickly. Hopefully, in the end it will pay off with many upon many devoted readers. My fingers are crossed.

Monday, March 27, 2017


I downloaded a vampire book that received many five star ratings and is written by a writer who ranks in the top twenty horror writers on Amazon. I don’t get it. The story is tedious and repeats so many of the same beats. There has been little characterization of the protagonist besides fear and regret. Too many chapters focus on surviving in the woods, with the protagonist incrementally acquiring survival skills. Maybe that would be interesting to a survivalist, but it isn’t to me. Plus I guess I’m not a fan of vampires who can feed off of animal blood.