Tuesday, September 19, 2017


Work went by quickly. I don’t know why. I saw my psychiatrist. What I expected would happen, happened. My Cymbalta was raised to 80mg. It’s like Murphy’s law that you never feel at your worst on the day you’re scheduled to see your shrink. My depression is definitely not over, but I believe I’m on the upswing. Hopefully it lasts. I’m over sleeping again though. I’m napping for hours every afternoon. I’m daydreaming with Orly about the book, but I haven’t been writing anything down. My psychiatrist thought it was a good idea I removed the deadline for the book.  

Monday, September 18, 2017


I’ve decided to mindmap the Second Act of Scribbling The Eternal. There’s too many directions for me to work out in my little brain. I feel like my audience is growing quickly on my new author profiles, but I’ve been looking at other authors who have 100K followers and only a few reviews on their books. So maybe the number of followers doesn’t mean much, or these authors used those services where you can buy followers to look important. Reading all weekend helped clear my head, but travel would do even more. Amsterdam. Scotland. Back to Tokyo. I don’t know.

Sunday, September 17, 2017


I sat at Starbucks alone for seven and a half hours. I finished the Murakami book I was reading, read two other short books, and began a book by Bukowski. I feel like I don’t have friends to hang out with, but have been on social media talking to strangers more. Of course it’s not true. I have friends who I believe would be very happy to see me, I’m the one isolating myself. Not writing this weekend has been restful. I’m starting to worry about something I’m going to do in the new book. Will readers think it’s stupid?

Saturday, September 16, 2017


I chose not to write today. I just napped and then in the afternoon I went to Starbucks and read Murakami for hours. I talked to Amirah about taking out my piercings. I like looking goth, but I also want to travel abroad more and I just want to disappear into the crowds. Stitches and I were stared at so much in Barcelona and Tokyo. I don’t want to stand out so much. Today felt like what my life is going to be like after I retire, sitting in cafes reading books. I enjoyed myself but it did feel lonely.

Friday, September 15, 2017


Since I created author accounts on Twitter and Instagram my feeds are just filled with other self-published authors trying to do exactly the same thing I am: get more readers and sell more books. Some have messaged me to tell me about their books and I’ve agreed to read their books, but when I ask them to read mine in exchange I get told that they’re too busy to read. Writers who are too busy to read, I don’t think can become great writers. One of the books I began was terrible, and we’re all fighting for the same readers.