Friday, September 30, 2016


I watched my favorite film, Cinema Paradiso after not having watched it for years. It makes me feel too much. It always conquers my meds, meaning it makes me cry. The film is ultimately about love, not just young love or romantic love, it’s about loving your life. My favorite line in the film is when Alfredo says goodbye to Toto and whispers to him, “Whatever you end up doing, love it.” Life is too short and insignificant to not love something you do deeply. I get crushed both when he watches Elena’s film and then Alfredo’s film for him.

Thursday, September 29, 2016


I left work early after I submitted payroll and kept myself on pace to meet my SIS project deadline. I have a sinus infection and it’s pretty miserable. I watched a film called Last Night while lying in bed. It made me feel either I should never get married or I should become asexual. It felt so real. It’s how relationships really are. It made me think of someone I love very much and how she contacts me when her marriage is struggling. Love changes so much. And there’s room for more love than we usually allow ourselves to have.

Wednesday, September 28, 2016


We arrived just in time to see Angelspit last night. We missed the opening bands which bummed me out. But the Angelspit show was really good. They were a lot of fun to watch. My mistress kept her word and slapped the shit out of my face for getting the tickets. I had the day off but went to work to attend a meeting and then I worked a couple of hours on the SIS project since I have a Friday deadline. Salina sent me a second round of five covers. We are moving forward with one. I’m very happy.  

The cover we are moving forward with.

Tuesday, September 27, 2016


Something I liked about the last version of The Iliad I read was that the translator often said someone used “winning words” in order to persuade someone else. I thought of that when thinking of last night’s debate. Both sides are claiming victory but it doesn’t really matter. People are so entrenched in their position that anything spoken by their candidate would be heard as winning words. I include myself in that. I felt Hillary won, but what do I know? I’m not Odysseus. LOL. Our country is so divided. If one of them died the other side would celebrate.


Monday, September 26, 2016


Today was an important day to me. I sent the final chapters of The Scribbled Victims to my writing group. After I get their notes there should only be one more rewrite to do. A______ read the final two chapters and she was shocked by the ending. That makes two people who already want a sequel. I better start working on that soon. She asked to read it all again from the beginning. I daydream that she loves me. The debate between Clinton and Trump is starting. I’m hoping it’s good for a laugh and I don’t get too angry.

Nirav Patel

Sunday, September 25, 2016


I saw the proof for the second attempt at the book cover. It was my idea but it wasn’t right. People said it looked like The Twilight Zone. I thought it looked like a Scientology book. I talked to Salina. We’re going to start over from scratch. I suggested a simpler approach to the cover. I’ve been revising chapters today before submitting to my writing group. I revised three chapters and feel tired. Five more to go, but I need to take a break.  I found out the girl I like so much said something shitty about me again. Sigh.