Saturday, October 31, 2015


Halloween. There’s so many options tonight, but I’m still sad and don’t think I’ll go anywhere. I don’t want to see people and I don’t have a costume. I’ll just read and wake up early. I bought 160,000 Yen today. It’s all the exchange place had. It looks like a lot more money than it really is. Japan is finally starting to feel real to me. My tattoo is weeping. I really like how it looks. It’s so black. Andrea and I exchanged kissing emoticons tonight. It’s been a while, but it felt like the right thing to do tonight.

Anna Taut

Friday, October 30, 2015


My psychologist and I spent my entire session talking about the two people affecting me so severely. She advised I focus on me in the now as I can’t change the situations. I can only accept it. I knew that would be her answer, but it won’t be simple to accomplish because my heart is involved. It feels like avoidance therapy. I made a YouTube video about recent art I’ve collected. This afternoon I went to Mule Studios and got a tattoo from Christa Ritch of Maddie and her BFF. It came out great. I hope Kimberlee Traub likes it.

My new tattoo

Thursday, October 29, 2015


I often write about how my medications make it difficult for me to feel things and how I don’t like it. Well now things going on with two people in my life are making me feel things that are stronger than my meds. It’s upsetting. I see my psychologist tomorrow. We’ll talk about it, but I doubt she’ll be able to help me out of this. Tiq, if you’re reading this, I need you to steel my heart because I don’t know what the outcome will be if I keep feeling this way. The catalysts are out of my control.

Marco Rea

Wednesday, October 28, 2015


There isn’t an end to this depression anywhere in sight. Even if it’s chemical it was kicked off by Sarah, or rather lack of Sarah, and that isn’t going to be solved any time soon, if ever. I was hurt by two friends today. I think I’m being overly sensitive. I just took a Klonopin. I’m savoring this Mazzy Star song over and over again in the dark. Two more work days until my vacation. I see my psychologist on Friday. My boss questioned whether it was safe for me to travel as I would be away from my doctors.  

Andrea Peipe