Monday, June 30, 2014

Scare


I had my annual performance evaluation at work with the Senior Associate Registrar. It went well, but it always has. I have a second meeting with the University Registrar about goals for the upcoming fiscal year, as I will now be reporting to her directly. I laid out sixteen goals. Orly and I wrote well. We're still in the first chapter, but we're making progress. I got tickets for Scare LA. I'm going with Mary. She's a lot of fun. I like hanging out with her. Disco just called but didn't say anything. I don't know how to help her.  

Travis K. Schwab

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Portland


I hurt my knee in tennis this morning. We had to stop playing early. I lost at chess after that. I had lunch with Elo. She's trying to talk me into moving to Portland and I have to admit that it is tempting. Could I give up my job that I love and my pension to live in a place I would likely love more? I'll likely be going to a conference there later this year so I guess that could influence things. M___, I know you're reading this. You emailed me again today. What do I do about that?

Yuliana Mendoza

Saturday, June 28, 2014

Beautiful


I didn't wake until around four o'clock this afternoon. I went out last night with Mary Zaint and Spike Braun. We went to Thai food and then to Release the Bats for the Bestial Mouths show. I didn't know the band, but liked them and bought their disc. I just spent over two hours writing five hundred words of The Scribbled Victims. It's slow going, but I'm trying to write beautiful sentences.  It's going to take many months to write this book, and then I'll want to workshop it. I feel like going out again tonight. I just texted someone.

Gustav Klimt


Friday, June 27, 2014

Washing


Today was relatively easy. I had this three-hour meeting but at least it didn't drag as much as I expected it would. After that, the rest of the workday seemed to fly by. I tried to take a nap when I got home since I'm going out tonight, but I didn't have much success. I wrote more of The Scribbled Victims. The way I'm turning over my sentences like they're in a washing machine feels like how it felt when I was working on my first long piece of fiction when I was still in high school. It's oddly satisfying.

Zin Lim

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Sentences


I'm still happy. Orly has really been expressing herself eloquently. It's exciting. I love playing with her sentences, adding words, dropping words, restructuring clauses; it's really satisfying. Work was particularly draining today. My boss was not in a good mood. She has too much going on right now and so do I. Some accounting issues came up today and we're only a couple weeks out from the launch of our new accounting system. I took myself out to lunch. I'm looking forward to the weekend. I'm going to Release the Bats with Mary, reading, writing, playing tennis, and playing chess.

Olve Sande

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Orly


I feel happy today. I'm sleepy from not sleeping enough, but I still feel happy. Orly and I wrote well this morning. I like how she's developing in this fiction version versus the screenplay version. Getting to give her a narrative gives me more room to make her grow. I've also been working on Book 4 of my Maddie BFF series. I need more hours in a day or a longer lifespan. There are so many things I want to write and so many books I want to read. I'm happy about something else too, but I can't say what.

Theodore Robinson

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Deactivated


Today was a day of deactivations. I deactivated my OKCupid account. There isn't any point to me having it any longer. I also deactivated my Ask.fm page. I should have done that earlier when all the insults started coming. Hardly anyone asked me about my books or writing which was what I was hoping for, but there were always more questions about my personal life. I guess my books aren't worth inquiring about. I'm sleepy. I woke at midnight and went to work. I worked twelve hours and they were difficult. But I did get to write as Orly today.

Max Neumann


Monday, June 23, 2014

OKCupid


My spirits are up today. Friday, I contacted the producer paying me to write this screenplay and told him I needed an extension on the third act. Relief. Today, I began writing my own stories again and that's invigorating. I have three stories I want to work on, including a graphic novel called Mourning Angel. I named my protagonist today. A woman is talking to me on OKCupid. That's rare. I found out she's hired prostitutes for herself though. That's honest. I'm thinking maybe she's out of money and figured she'd give me a try. I'm so not going there.  

Anna Dittmann

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Email


I stayed out late last night. I woke up past noon. I had an email from you, M___. After all these years, you still email my old address. I guess I'm lucky I have an auto-forward set up for it. It was you who asked me that question on Ask.fm. I didn't even know you knew I had that page. Clearly, you're still reading my blog. I like that, but didn't expect it. We said our goodbyes already. Thank you for your kind words about Ashley. Did you really need to reach out to me or did you want to?

Yuliana Mendoza

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Retire


I've been trying to nap for the past two hours before going out tonight. I failed. I have too much on my mind. My websites were corrupted again and they're all down. I've decided to retire the meagothy.com website. It would take a long time to rebuild and maintenance alone takes my attention away from what I really want to be doing, which is of course writing. I'm going to hire a web designer to rebuild deadponies.com and inkbleedbooks.com. What those will look like has also been keeping me awake. That and, I want to date someone who isn't available.  

Valentin van der Meulen

Friday, June 20, 2014

Linings



When you got so frustrated with her inability to pronounce the word “linings,” your frustration provided years of laughter for me. Regan was president then and I still laugh about it. You’re dead now. You died during Clinton. I wonder if she’s dead now too. I hope her coffin had extravagant linings. That would make me inclined to interpret order in the universe, but of course that would be a bunch of shit. If there were order you wouldn’t be dead and you certainly wouldn’t have had to try twice to finish yourself off. I wish it had not hurt. 

Kate Powell

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Drunk


Work was hectic today. This whole week so far has been crazy. Preparing your fiscal closing while also converting to a new accounting software system really opens things up for a lot of unexpected issues. One more day and the week is over. I'm contemplating playing all weekend. My Friday night plans canceled but that should be easy to replace. If I still drank alcohol, I'm pretty sure I would get drunk this weekend. I found out today that my psychologist phoned my psychiatrist to have a conversation about me. Shrinks treat wackos but they often don't even understand them.

Luciana Urtiga

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Post-coital


Riley, I intended to blog today about my therapy session with my psychologist, but Stitches advised me not to talk about it publicly and I think she's right. I talked about our friendship with my therapist. I'll have to tell you privately what she said. The session was intense. We went overtime. We haven't done that in a while. Other than that, I had a good day. I actually took a lunch at work. I wrote well after work. I even wrote a second sex scene for this screenplay just so I could get to a post-coital conversation about trust.

Pierre Soulages

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Dickhead


I need to be more careful with whom I engage with online when I don't know them in real life. Not doing so opens the doors of interacting with angry and mean people who live to troll. I've been receiving a lot of adds lately on Facebook and I've tried to be welcoming to new friends, but because of some dickhead I interacted with today, I realize that, in general, it's probably best to just to say nothing. I really detest confrontation. It makes my day go to shit. I just took a Klonopin. I already want to take another.


Valentino Quijano


Monday, June 16, 2014

Reset


I have until July 18 to get out of this depressed state. I see my psychiatrist that day and if I go into his office in this condition, he's going to reset the clock on our four good months in a row, cut my Prozac dosage by half, deal we made. I'll be done writing this screenplay by then. That will help. I need to go out more and see people though. Hiding out with books has been great intellectually but not great for my mood. I just missed making a basket with my hand inches away from the trashcan.

Martin De Pasquale

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Distant


I've been up and down today. The up was reading Post Office by Charles Bukowski, the down came while talking to Tiq. We talked a lot today which is good for my writing, but bad for my depression. Erika told me I've been distant. I've heard that from other friends lately too. I guess I've needed more alone time than usual. I'm getting so close to finishing this script that I'll begin writing backwards soon. I often have trouble connecting my second act to my low point if I write linearly. So I skip to the end and go back.

Zin Lim

Saturday, June 14, 2014

Pushed


I played tennis with Paul this morning. After I showered, I took a nap. I don't know why I've been so sleepy lately; it's unusual. My sleep cycle is all fucked up. I knew I couldn't sleep very long because I had a lot to write today. It wasn't easy getting out of bed, but Mary motivated me. I've been writing for hours now and haven't completed too many pages, but I did good work. I pushed through two scenes that were difficult. They're really rough and I'm sure I'll rewrite them, but at least I made it through them.

Jordan Kasey

Friday, June 13, 2014

Minnows


I woke up at 1 a.m. again today, but I didn't go into the office until 3:30. In the dream I woke up from, the Loch Ness monster died and washed up on shore. I read online that it was eaten alive by minnows. It was disfigured and lying flat on the shore like a blanket. I looked in its sad eyes. I chatted with a reader today who had just read The Ascension of the Blind Princess. I asked if she read the notes about Ashley. I always hope that people do. She did. I'm glad Ashley is remembered.

Ball Point Pen Drawing by Nuria Riaza

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Nowhere


I woke up at 1 a.m. this morning and decided not to go back to sleep. I arrived at the office at 2 a.m. As always, I got so much more done with an empty office. I think one of my new helix piercings isn't healing properly. It feels like my skin is growing over the backing. I'll have to see my piercer soon. The other three seem to be doing well. The girl I was so excited to have lunch with is still in love with her ex-boyfriend. So I guess that's going to go nowhere. We'll be friends.

Justin Plunkett

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Breeze



I should have left work an hour ago, but I’m sitting here at my desk looking at your photo, Ashley. I wish so much you still were. Every song that plays is sad when I listen to it while looking in your eyes. l___ has been calling today. She’s so good to me. She always knows when I’m hurt. Your parents want to have lunch with me this weekend. They want me to bring more copies of our book for more of your relatives. I wish you could be at that lunch. It’ll be outside. There could be a breeze.

Cara Thayer and Louie Van Patten